Tag Archives: health

by

Long Days, Little Rest

It’s been a while since I’ve written a straight up blog post, but I thought I’d give it a try. The start of 2012 has been a perfect storm of insanity. Our air conditioner died. In a typical Florida winter, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but this wasn’t typical, not by a long shot. It was finally replaced on Monday. I have never been more grateful.

P has changed jobs and company. The new company is a good fit for him and is an exciting opportunity. But people who know what those words mean know that there is a lot of work involved and he’s frequently far busier than he used to be. He also now works from home part of the time. This is not always ideal as he tends to prefer quiet to no quiet, but we’re persevering so far and we seem to be getting the hang of it.

My work schedule went loopy. I’m teaching classes I haven’t taught in quite a while and they’ve changed significantly and I ended up working crazy numbers of hours to not be behind my students. And, really, it’s not settled, I’m still working crazy hours and don’t have a lot of time when you add in teaching my own kids. I don’t see this schedule letting up until summer. Sigh. I can hope for a miracle, though.

My health has been a roller coaster. Allergies hit very hard this year, but I didn’t end up with my semi-annual case of bronchitis. This is good since my primary for the last seven years quit the practice and left a lot of patients with no primary care. I’m meeting one of his partners at the end of the month and we’ll see if that relationship will work or if I need a new primary all together. I also have to admit defeat (ha ha) and find a podiatrist. My feet are so painful in the mornings now that I look like a 90 year old woman hobbling across the floor. It’s not attractive and it’s not fun. Plus, now my knee is in on the act. It clicks and makes noises I know it shouldn’t. First step is the feet. If that doesn’t fix it, then off to the orthopedist I go to try to find out what the heck is going on in my knee.

And then, there’s homeschool. It’s a journey and a lot of times, it’s not fun. Ben is prone to tantrums and he is very vocal about what he doesn’t like and what he won’t do. There have been more curriculum changes — we’ve adopted WriteShop A, and that seems to be helping a little, but anything involving the physical act of writing is right out. He can read phenomenally well, and could easily read chapter books, but he’s realized that some of his friends can’t do that and so he refuses to do it as well. He keeps reminding me that he’s a first grader and I can’t ask him to do anything that isn’t first grade. We’ve had the talk that the grade thing is arbitrary and that we use first grade as convenient because it keeps him with kids his age. He seems to understand that, but he’s still very attached to the idea that he’s a first grader and that’s that.

I’ve started calling what we’re doing story-schooling because Ben seems to learn best through stories. We are using a host of curricular options that rely on telling him stories or him creating stories to get the information across. This seem to work better than anything else we’ve done, but still, there’s resistance if he feels like there’s any fine motor stuff involved (clearly, he doesn’t call it that, but anything using his hands, he’s not interested in). And there is irony in this because he will draw for hours, color to his heart’s content, cut out things he’s drawn and glue them to other projects, but if it’s not his idea, he’s not willing to do it. Sigh.

Katie has started preschool with a vengeance. We tried a more formal program, but she wasn’t quite ready for it, so we do a page of Core Knowledge, read AlphaTales, and she loves to watch Leap Frog’s Phonics Farm. I’m toying with Reading Eggs for her, but haven’t decided yet.

We’re adding and subtracting activities and options as we go. This homeschooling thing is really an adventure. I don’t know if I’m going to be more active in the coming months, but I thought a brief update was in order.

by

February 3 in 30: Wrap up/March 3 in 30: Goals

3in30 Challenge

February Wrap Up

Positive Parenting Solutions

I failed utterly at this one. I didn’t manage to watch one session or complete one worksheet. So, that was a bust.

Drink More Water

I did it. I now consistently drink at least 2 32-oz glasses of water (or water mixed with Crystal Light Pure) every single day. It’s definitely improved how I feel and I’ve even lost a tiny bit of weight as a result.

28 Days To Hope for Your Home

I completed all 28 days and my kitchen, bathrooms, and clutter areas have not looked better in years. I’m really very pleased. It took very little time to get organized for a visit from an AC repair person. Woohoo!

March Goals

Positive Parenting Solutions

My goal is to watch one session, complete the worksheet, and incorporate the actions into our parenting “plan.” I think this is much more manageable and actually gives the sessions and their material the time that they should receive.

Stop Eating at 8p

Because I work in the evenings, I have a bad habit of snacking all the way through my work sessions, so my plan this month is to stop that. I can drink, but no more eating while working. We’ll see what that does.

Mindset for Moms

I seem to be using my third goal as sort of an e-book a month kind of thing and that actually works for me. So, this month I’m going to read Jamie Martin’s Mindset for Moms and see if I can improve my attitude.

This is the weekly link up page. Please go there if you’re joining in, want to see what others are doing and so forth.

by

Things Mothers Don’t Talk About — But Should

One thing I never really heard anyone talk about before I had either of my kids was a less than ideal “bonding” experience with the baby. My relationship with Ben was rock solid from day one. I adored him. He was beautiful and perfect in every way. We felt connected and to this day feel deeply connected. While we have our issues (screaming, him; yelling, me; hitting, him; crying, me), he knows without a doubt that his mommy loves him and has loved him every single day of his life.

I wish I could say the same for Katie. I love my daughter. I think she’s the sweetest, funniest little girl to ever set foot on the planet. She’s definitely one of the toughest, but that deep, elemental connection that I’ve felt with Ben since day one is not as present with Katie. That’s not to say that it’s not there or that we’re not connected, but I’ve had to work really hard to make that connection with her that just came with Ben.

I know that a large part of the issue was the fact that she and I were separated within a few hours of her birth and I didn’t see her again for almost 72 hours. The first 24 hours I was fighting for my life and on a ventilator, and then they needed to get me strong enough so that I could hold her, which I did — in the ICU. But I felt disconnected from the process. I was so consumed with trying to get myself better, I couldn’t think too much about this tiny little life that had just joined the planet. It was honestly a relief to me that she could stay in the nursery and get care, because there was no way that we could have done it with all the bells, whistles and wires attached to me. I was on an extensive array of scary drugs, so breastfeeding was out.

I made it out of the ICU, into a step-down unit, and then onto the maternity floor. At that point, I think everyone expected me to go nuts wanting to see the baby. I wasn’t as interested as I guess I should have been. I don’t know. I was in a total fog. I don’t really remember much except P suggesting that if I didn’t show an interest in her soon, they wouldn’t let her leave with us. The poor lactation consultant walked in after that and I sobbed all over her for a good twenty minutes. Thank God she recognized full-fledged panic. She convinced me that no one was going to keep Katie from us, that everyone understood what a horribly scary thing I’d just been through, that I was a warrior because I was out of the ICU and back with my baby — I lived. No one was expecting me to be completely together and it was okay.

Still, I wasn’t attached. I let other people take care of her. I was the still ill person that P dragged along to appointments for Katie even though I couldn’t process the information that we were being given. I felt like P had another child and I was along for the ride. She didn’t scream when she saw me or in any way show that she realized that mommy was having a hard time with connecting to her.

The fog started to clear right around the time Katie was six months old. I loved her, but I didn’t have the deep feelings that I had for Ben. And then the other shoe dropped — Katie had trigonocephaly. It’s like I’d been waiting for that shoe all along. I was waiting before I connected with her because I was so sure she was going to be taken from me. I was just so sure. And I shut down again for a little while.

But it was the rounds of doctors and exams and pushing insurance companies to do right for her that started to connect me to this child in a way I hadn’t been before. Handing her to a nurse for her surgery was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Getting home after her delivery was cake compared to handing her to someone not being 100% sure that I’d see her again or that she’d be the same baby after her surgery.

Those of you who follow me regularly know that she isn’t the same baby, and maybe that’s what finally sealed the bond. See, I’m not the same person I was the day before Katie was born either. I’ve had to build a new life, a new reality and I think we’re now both in a place where mommy and little girl connect. It may never be quite like the connection I have with Ben, but I’d say that it is just as deep and just as meaningful because we had to work so much harder for it.

by

Not sure where I’m going

And not sure where I’ve been.

Definitely sounds like a country song, anyway.

I’ve been battling my inner demons for a few weeks now. I’m not really sure how to describe how I’ve been feeling other than to say not good. I stress way too much over little things. I get abnormally sound sensitive (making my sound sensitive child look like a lightweight). I get super emotional. I cry.

Part of it is frustration. I should be better by now. If the thyroid stuff was going to work, it would be working by now . . . and it’s not. I’m, if possible, in worse shape now than I was when I started. I still have no energy. I feel quasi-sick all the time. I agreed to do things because I expected to feel better, but instead I’m feeling worse and wiped out and utterly unable to cope.

It’s not that I’m out of hope, but I’m not sure what’s next. I think Dr. T expected this to be a quick fix and it’s not. I look at pictures of myself and I realize that I don’t look well. I don’t know where to turn from here. I can’t even really describe symptoms at this point because I don’t know what is actually a symptom and what is an effect of how I feel.

Am I tired ALL. THE. TIME. because I don’t feel well, or is that why I don’t feel well. I don’t know. I have another appointment with Dr. T in a couple of weeks. I’m hoping that his problem solving abilities are in the forefront and he’s going to have some ideas of what to do from here.

Add to that, I’ve been having eye trouble. Not the big thing. Thank God, not the big thing (macular degeneration — I live in total fear of it), but something called blepharitis. I wish I was joking about it, but I’m not. It had reached a point where it felt like I had boulders in my eyes, so I went to see Katie’s eye doctor (yes, she treats grown ups, too). She said, “It’s just bad luck.” But I have to do warm compresses, lid/lash washes, and ointment in my eyes every night. It completely freaks me out.

The suckiest part of it is that I am wearing glasses. I have been wearing glasses non-stop since she diagnosed me almost eight weeks ago. I think it’s getting better but my eyes still hurt, which probably means that I have to continue treating. Sigh.

I haven’t been able to work out. I feel like limp spaghetti by the end of the day with my kids and I still have to work after that. My temper is short and I’m just not feeling good.

by

Goal Review: Month 4

Another month down in the build a happier Adjunctmom and it appears that we’re doing so. I’m pleased about that.

1. So, we’ve learned something. I need a group for accountability or I am not going to be successful with reading plans. I have not managed Proverbs or to keep up with the reading plan from my church. HOWEVER, I did pick up a copy of Praying With Beads: Daily Prayers for the Christian Year and I’ve really found it to be centering and helpful. So, that’s this month’s goal, to pray the beads at least once every day.

2. I managed the March for Babies with no ill after-effects. I tried the Shred, one day, and my knees are still protesting two weeks later. So, this month I’m focusing on the May challenge over at Shredheads — work out every day. Some days will be the Wii, some days the gym, and I start swimming class on Saturday. Trying not to be nervous about that.

3. Organizing made some progress and some not. I haven’t been following the book as well as I was supposed to, but I did work on organizing my sewing area and parts of the kitchen. We’re all finally feeling much better and this has added us in operation organization. Hopefully more organizing to come this month.

4. I’ve discovered that one thing I need to be happy is time to work on things that I love to do. I’ve been doing some knitting, some quilting, or some cross-stitch as often as I can. I’m trying for daily this month. We’ll see if I can pull that off. I’ve also discovered the interesting side effect that my blood pressure is much lower if I stop with teaching type work by 9p and spend the last couple of hours working on things I enjoy doing instead. Which is not to say that I don’t enjoy teaching, but there’s stress because it’s work.

5. The attitude is gratitude. The journal is the journal. All is well.

6. Katie’s image journal is coming along fabulously. I am caught up with pictures. I have precisely the number I need for right now. It’s going to be a very special book for a very special girl.

7. I completed the April challenge at Shredheads. I logged everything I ate for the month of April. Over the course of the month, I lost five pounds, so I think it was helpful. Would have been better if I could have exercised more. Hopefully now that pollen season is almost over, I stand a better chance of exercising regularly and eating better.

8. Will continue moving. This month, as mentioned before, Shredheads May challenge is to work out every day. I will do this; I can do this. I’m looking forward to doing this.

9. Plan continues apace.

10. The homeschool plan is complete. I need to place the order (likely next week), but we know what we’re doing; he’s started some of it and he’s doing great. At this point, I’ve decided to start doing a weekly wrap up for the homeschool week on Fridays. We’ll see how that goes. This week won’t look so good as we still haven’t done anything. Some weeks are just like that around here.

11. Things with Ben are on an upswing. We’ve started really thinking about consequences and it’s working. He understands that there are many things that fall into the category of a privilege and that privileges are things that you get when you make the right choices. We have him enrolled in swimming lessons and he’s a confident little guy. He was convinced after four weeks of lessons, he’s ready to swim (he’s not). He starts the next set on Saturday.

I’d say the year mission: Find our Happy Place is moving along well and I’m happy/content with the progress.

by

A Confluence of Events

When I posted the pictures of myself about two weeks ago, I was asked what I’m doing to lose weight. But I had a bad spell with my blood pressure and medicine and haven’t had the wits about me to post, let alone think about how to put this together. And then, the absolutely fabulous CecilyK aka The Uppercase Woman wrote a post about the show based in part on Jamie’s Food Revolution: Rediscover How to Cook Simple, Delicious, Affordable Meals that was thought-provoking and interesting given how much general praise the show has been getting. Finally, Jillian Michaels opened her mouth and planted her foot quite firmly in it. And it seemed like a perfect storm to finally answer the question of what I’m doing (or not doing) to effect this change that I’m going through.

I commented on Cecily’s post about the fact that I think Oliver’s ideas are much like Pollan’s ideas in In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto and Kingsolver’s ideas in Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.). I also think that his ideas play well with the school/community gardens being touted by the likes of Alice Waters and Rick Bayless. And I think they’re all good idea. Ideas that I endorse and believe we should be working to implement and they’re the originators of the ideas that influence heavily how I approach food.

I honestly use Pollan’s book as a guide to how I eat. I try to follow his suggestions and really think about what I’m eating. But, to be totally honest, there are other factors driving it, too. I have weird food issues and they dictate a great deal of what I eat. For example, I cannot eat mayonnaise. It makes me so ill that I will honestly wish that I hadn’t been born rather than have to suffer another stomach cramp. I recently suffered two bouts with serious stomach issues that I convinced myself were the result of chocolate. And I would have lived with that and just stopped eating chocolate, except that my husband noted that both times I ate a chocolate/peanut butter combination. So, I tried chocolate by itself. No reaction. Peanuts by themselves. Huge reaction. Great. It’s not really an allergy, more of an intolerance, which sucks enough as it is. But that means that I’m now reading labels and avoiding peanuts to avoid getting sick. And when you add to that I’m allergic to *all* sugar substitutes the reality of the way I eat sets in. So, for eating a few basic rules:

1. I eat breakfast. Usually, hot or cold cereal and coffee with a spoon of sugar and some milk. On days I’m working out, hot cereal and a glass of milk.

2. I drink water. Lots of water. I have these fabulous Tervis Tumblers that hold 16 oz of water. I try to remember to refill a minimum of four times during the day.

3. I eat my idea of lunch. Usually burrito mix on a tortilla (dad’s recipe, about as unMexican as you can get; Rick Bayless would shudder to see how this gets made) or leftovers from dinners.

4. Fruit for snacks and a piece of string cheese in the afternoons to tide me over to dinner.

5. Dinner from a Relish! menu (if I haven’t raved about Relish! lately consider this my rave. Usually, there is a dessert after dinner. This week that dessert is Buttermilk pie. I eat small pieces and enjoy it.

6. I track everything I eat at Sparkpeople. I’m adjunctmom there too if you’re there and want to friend me or if you’re not there and want to join.

7. After the kitchen closes (dinner dishes are finished and the table is wiped off), the only thing that can be obtained from it is water. That goes for everyone but Katie. If she needs more milk, she can have that ;) .

My focus is on fresh, healthy foods that are minimally processed and that taste good. I’m working hard to instill that value in both of my kids. My son says his favorite vegetable is broccoli. We buy quick frozen and have to buy in bulk because the boy requests it with every dinner it can possibly make sense to eat it with. My daughter appears, at the moment, to prefer green beans.

And here’s the thing, and how this all ties back to Cecily K’s post and issues with that post. I fully realize that I am in an incredibly privileged spot to be able to choose what we eat and how much and where it comes from. I have not always been that fortunate and I think that’s why the advice of all the wonderful people I listed above tends to fall short. The reality is that it is not easy to eat a whole food diet if you’re on a super-tight food budget. I should know; I’ve been there. I have lived for weeks at a time on grilled cheese and ramen noodles. Where the cheese had to serve as my protein because I couldn’t afford meat or tofu. If I was super lucky, apples would be on sale and I could buy a 3 lb. bag of pesticide laden fruit. So, I totally get people listening to these wealthy folks telling them should plant gardens, eat real food, and scoff at their idiocy, BUT just because I couldn’t do it doesn’t mean I didn’t aspire to do it, even back then. And I think the aspiration and the discussions that come from that aspiration are as important as the action. Because if kids don’t know what a potato looks like, then shame on us. But if a kid can’t keep chickens because the kid doesn’t have a yard, then hey, I feel their pain, deed restrictions (and a general understanding that fowl and my dogs will not get along well) keep me from doing it.

So, that in a very large nutshell is how I’m eating and why. What else am I doing?

Well, I work out. Not so religiously at the moment, but I do something active just about every day. We got a gym membership, which has truly been the best thing ever for us as a family. Ben takes swimming lessons. I’m going to take swimming lessons. I work out in the gym — admittedly, not recently because allergies are ruining my ability to sleep and function, but I have hope that pollen season is almost over. I have a Wii and a group of active games that I use. I also have fitness DVDs and a subscription to Sparkpeople’s You Tube channel. Plus, I have my own personal cheering section. Anytime I work out and Ben can see me, I get the “Go, Mom; Go, Mom; Go, Mom” chant. And then he tries to work out with me.

Where does Jillian fit into all of this? Well, honestly, I own some of her DVDs. Her statements really didn’t bother me because, prior to getting pregnant with Ben, I used to say the same things about pregnancy. Why? Because I was told it was statistically improbable that I could get pregnant, and I had several years of trying at my back to prove the statistics were right. Because of the timing, I didn’t realize I was pregnant with Ben until I was a bit farther along than most people, and because of the, um, inhospitability of my uterus, I was desperately afraid to tell people outside of my family that I was pregnant. As in, some didn’t find out until I was almost 28 weeks. So, from that perspective I totally get where she comes from when she says what she says about pregnancy. If you convince yourself that it’s something you don’t want, it doesn’t hurt as badly that you can’t have it. I have no idea what to make of her adoption comments. Have to wonder about the context given her passion for dogs and wonder if two different subjects were conflated in some way.

So yeah, I think that covers what I’m doing, to a greater or lesser extent, and it also gives you an idea of what my brain is like on an average day. Very convoluted :) .

by

Still Danged Sick, Thank You

A week ago, I wrote a post: Almost too Sick to Care and one would hope that in the intervening week I would be feeling better. One would be hoping wrongly. Or misbegotten-ly. Or something-ly.

Not only am I sick, but Ben is sick and so is P. However, P is not sick. Not one little bit. Never mind running a fever, throwing up, and not being able to stay vertical for more than a few minutes at a time, he’s not sick.

After almost fourteen days of this insanity with Ben, I finally decided yesterday that he wasn’t getting better. Yesterday, involved two rounds of barfing (necessitating two sets of clean sheets and an emergency *blue* sheep substitution until a yellow one was dry). At least, he’ll accept the blue one, but it was a rough few minutes while he decided if it would be okay (lots and lots of tears). I also decided yesterday, that I was not getting better and made a quicky appointment with a PA at my doctor’s practice. As I figured, I have a sinus infection. I now have meds and I’m working on getting better.

Ben has been to the doctor and has discovered there are a few small perks to having a MomMom with asthma. One of them is that you get to take your breathing treatments from a nebulizer rather than from inhalers. However, I was not prepared for him to completely wig out about wearing the mask and the noise from the nebulizer and to work himself up so much that he threw up before the first one, and just about threw up before the second one. Both times, he’s ended up on my lap with me holding the mask up to his face so he can get the medicine while I try to teach him how to breathe it in as deep as he can.

I do think we upped the cool factor slightly because I’ve pointed out that his godfather also regularly uses a nebulizer, so now they have something else in common. I got a big grin. We’ll see how that translates to the next breathing treatment.

We’ve also learned that watching Katie freak out at doctors all these times has made Ben much more hesitant about letting the doctor do his thing with him. We had to convince him that looking in his ears wouldn’t hurt and he could not be persuaded to lie down to let Dr. D check up his nose, so Dr. D worked it another way.

Because of Katie, they kind of expected Ben to be a bit of a challenge, and they were right. We’ve been trying to keep him from seeing the worst of it with her, but I guess still being able to hear her was too much for him. In the end, they determined he has sinusitis and bronchitis, poor kid. He’s wheezing when he coughs. Never a good thing, particularly for the kid of someone with asthma.

So far, Katie has not exhibited a single symptom that the rest of us have. Thank goodness. We’ve been having her play in her pack-n-play away from Ben. In days past, this would make her wail at being left out. Now? She settles right in and plays with *her* toys. She held up money from one of her toy purses and said, “Dada.” Sigh. Guess she knows who to hit up for money :) . And overall, she seems okay. Still stuffy from teething, but that seems to be working itself out.

I keep waiting for that magic moment where I feel like I’ve turned the corner, but I haven’t felt it yet. Here’s hoping it comes, soon, or I will be headed back to the doctor on Monday.

by

Tired of Being Tired

I plan to write a Top Ten Tuesday post today, and I will, but right now, I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself and I need to get this out.

I’m tired of being sick and I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of having to take and record my blood pressure every morning and every evening. I’m tired of having to leave the laundry room door open so the absence of sound reminds me that I was doing laundry. I’m tired of having the concentration powers of a hummingbird. I’m tired of realizing every day that I’m failing at motherhood and I’m failing at caring for my dogs. I’m tired of P having to worry about whether he can do something he really wants to do because he’s not sure that I can care for the house, the kids, the dogs, and myself without killing myself (unintentionally; not suicide, unless you consider trying to do everything when there’s a good chance that trying to do that is going to make me very sick, suicidal).

And I’m tired of not being strong enough to do the things that I want to do. I went to a sewing expo this past weekend for two of the four days it was running. By the end of the second day, I knew that I had made a big, gigantic mistake regarding my level of energy and my ability to cope. I’ve agreed to go to graduation this year for the school that I teach for. I’m now frantic about the decision because the pace for those two days is even more hard core than what I did at the sewing thing, and I’m afraid of what that will mean when I come home.

I’m tired of not being able to be spontaneous. I’m tired of not getting to work my younger dog or play with my kids in the way they would like. I’m tired of looking at the pile of quilts and crafts and thinking that I just can’t do any of that.

I’m tired of having to buy bread and cakes because I don’t even have the energy to mix up the stuff to put it in the bread machine. I’m tired of classes completely draining me and, ultimately, stripping away my censors so that I end up saying things I would just not say.

I’m tired of being told that if I’d just lose weight I’d feel better; if I’d just work out, I’d feel better; if I’d just put Ben in school instead of homeschooling him, I’d feel better. Working out wears me flat out. I get a real endorphin rush for a bit and then I’m flat out exhausted. I can’t work; I can’t think. I can’t be there for my kids, my dogs, or my husband.

I’m tired of being terrified that something is going to happen to Sam and I’m not going to be able to help her.

I’m just flat out tired.

by

What are you doing . . .

in 2010?

I hate resolutions. I hate the word; I hate the very idea of them. I feel like, when I set resolutions, I invariably set myself up to fail. However, this year, I have decided that I’m not making resolutions so much as taking up challenges and setting goals. So, my goals/challenges this year:

1) Complete the read the Bible in 90 days challenge (I did day one already, so I’m off to a fantastic start).

2) Run a 5k. I have the Couch to 5K app on my iPod and I have good running shoes and a treadmill. I’m ready to go with this on.

3) Organize and declutter my house. Those of you who have followed along know I tried Regina Leeds last year. For reasons I don’t want to pursue too much, I lost momentum and that ended sadly/badly. So, new year, new guru: Organize Now!: A Week By Week Guide To Simplify Your Space And Your Life and we’ll try it again. I’m hoping that the addition of the Motivated Moms chore list, I’m going to be able to accomplish this.

4) Pursue happiness by developing my own happiness project/create my life list. I have (not surprisingly) two books I’m going to use for this (if you haven’t figured out that my biggest decluttering project is going to be my books, then you don’t know me well enough yet). The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun and Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide
It’s sure to be interesting, at any rate.

5) Keep a gratitude journal for a year. This is actually a gimme at this point because I’ve been doing this every year. I use one of these: Journal 10+ 2010-2020 I bought it last year and I LOVE IT.

6) Keep an image journal for Katie. I did this for Ben between one and two, so now I’m going to do one for Katie. These are written images, but in Katie’s case, there’s also going to be a photograph a week for a year. It’s not as daunting to me to take Katie’s picture every week and I think it’s going to be fascinating to see how she grows.

7) Become a more intentional eater. To some degree, I want to follow Michael Pollan, but not all the way. I believe in good food; I don’t drink diet soda and I use real butter. Having said that, portion control and more thought are going to be my ways, hopefully, of bringing my health back under control.

8) Develop an exercise habit. I don’t want to do the 5K and then sit on my ass for the rest of the year. I want to be more active. To that end, we are joining the Y in order to give me protected workout time (child care every morning for two hours is enough to get me in there, seriously). We have tons of active Wii games, a treadmill in our bedroom, and with all of that, I fully intend to be healthy by the end of 2010.

9) I’m also paying close attention to Kristen Chase’s current challenge. I’m not going to elaborate on that except that I will be playing along as soon as I can (though it may require a trip to the doctor before I can, dang it).

10) Develop a better plan for our homeschooling and actually implement it. I need to actually apply and use all of this wonderful stuff that I’ve collected to learn with. Not as much to sit down and do book work as to experience. Also, need to be taking better advantage of the options available to him at the zoo, the library, the local theatre, and so forth.

11) One last one, become a more intentional parent. I referenced Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids a couple of times already. This is my bible for creating stronger, better relationships with my kids.

If I had to sum this all up, I would say that I need to be more active and more engaged in life. I think that’s an excellent goal for the coming year and the coming decade.

Today has been very strange for me in that I’ve felt lighter and happier in spirit than I have in a long, long time. Maybe the old decade really was just too much for me and I needed a new one to shed the depression and unhappiness of the old and develop a new attitude.